Resolve

I resolve....not to be so trusting
I resolve....not to be so dumb
I resolve....not to blame the others just because I'm an easy mark

it's an obscure song, but in my life it speaks some truth

pathetic- how i trust too much and too many. i believe people are honest with me; i get hurt. i become too vulnerable; again, hurt. what a sad commentary on human nature (both mine and others). this then ties to the fact that i am in some ways dumb in the sense that i let the same pattern happen repeatedly.

i don't want to stop believing the validity of others' words. i don't want to assume they won't keep my confidence. i don't want to keep from deeply communicating.

Blessed be the LORD God of Israel; for He hath hath visited and redeemed His people. And hath raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of His servant David. (Lk 1)

and here is a thought-i am not trustworthy either

God extends grace....and extends grace.....and extends grace......

i fail Him....and fail Him.....and fail Him

i read tuesday that 'no one could hurt God more than we already have'. i tend to think that my sin has levels of offense. sin in my mind or body may not affect others, and therefore in my warped thought i convince myself they aren't as painful to God.

i am in the midst or realizing that God may not find me trustworthy; yet, He continues to pursue me.

i love this photo because i can place myself in either role, small or large. today i'm little, and He is huge. sometimes i think the smaller hand is the one that won't let go-the one clinging with every ounce of being. now i realize the one finger is strong enough to keep the hand in place. neither one is letting go