Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Waffle Houses of the World....UNITE!

As a result of our many road trips as kids, Josh and I made a startling discovery; Every city on every Interstate Highway in the U.S. has some form of a WAFFLE HOUSE (granted this may include the famous Waffle & Steak, Huddle House, or the occasional IHOP. IHOP is not affiliated with Waffle House Inc, but falls into the same genre....or so I thought). During our 10 (which turned into 12) hour drive from Charlotte to Tampa last week, I told my 11 year old friend Sammi all about the geniuses who are Josh and Stephanie Longbrake and their brilliant decuction that Waffle House is trying to take over the world. We drove all other car occupants crazy by yelling out "Waffle House" every time we saw one on I-85, I-285, and I-75. We decided it would be worth the effort to document every Waffle House sighting on the return trip to Charlotte....and that's just what we did.
As we started our trek back to North Carolina, we kept a tally of each Waffle House along the way. In just the northern half of Florida we spotted 11 Waffle Houses along I-75. We stopped to eat lunch in Georgia at a, you guessed it, WAFFLE HOUSE.
***Disclaimer***I have always equated places like these with the Denny's in Fort Wayne. I now must send my apologies to Ryan Pfister (the only former Denny's employee I know) for having the audacity to compare such establishments!
***Yet another Disclaimer***Ryan is not the employee pictured. Any resemblance to "Bert the Diner Guy" is merely coincidental
Back to the story...I have learned that the only safe meal to order at a WH is a waffle and perhaps the occasional hashbrown. I did not order such a meal, and I paid the consequence by sacrificing that meal. There was however, a treasure to be found at this particular WH. The cashier's counter was fully stocked with Waffle House literature, including a listing of all continental Waffle Houses to be found off of Interstate highways! This made our data much more accurate and verified! There was an emotional time when we couldn't find the WH listed at exit 104, but we powered through. We were even surprised by the marvelous gift of a WH not mentioned on our map! I was able to encourage car riders that even though we weren't seeing WH's at a particular moment, we only had 10 miles to travel until our fears would be relieved. We even used our WH map to navigate our way home to Charlotte.
I find myself now searching all exits for a Waffle House, even though our experiment is through. It is as if my eyes have a mind of their own, and their hunger won't be fulfilled until they spot those beautiful black block letters on that stylish yellow background.
I believe and am stating it now that Waffle House is trying to take over the United States of America!
**Evidence**
1. You find them at 98% of the exits off major Interstate highways
2. You find yourself using Waffle House maps instead of Rand McNally to navigate trips
3. When eating at a Waffle House, you find yourself never wanting to eat eggs again
4. You start to hallucinate Waffle Houses into existence.

I have to say that I'm scared to get in the car. I'm scared to drive on the highway. I'm just plain scared.

3 comments:

Anthony said...

Waffle Houses are a bit scary, don't ya' think?

There are several along Interstate 75 in Southwest Florida, but none are too appealing to many humans.

Now, IHOP, on the other hand, has its act together (3 eggs, 3 pancakes, coffee and sugar-free syrup). Hhhmmmm..... Hhhhmmmm...

Stephanie said...

For sure IHOP is a great place for a frugal breakfast eater! I now think Waffle House should only be eaten on a dare or incorporated somehow into "Fear Factor"

Anonymous said...

hi miss longbrake it is allison sowle from 5th grade. my mom and
I where bored so we look up your name and there it was. so i heard u like NY. also I heard you want to go on cashcab. I love that show.

so i hope to see u in music