Public Transportation

So yesterday I bought gas at $2.94 a gallon; I have to say I cried a little inside.
I don't normally stop at this particular gas station; it was chosen by default considering my gas light had been on for almost 20 minutes (I know you're thinking, "Stephanie- you live life on teh edge!"). I did however frequent this station during high school and college. I remember when raising that precious needle from empty to full would cost less than $20, and that was when I drove a Ford Explorer! Last night I paid $35 to fill my tiny little Civic with only 12 gallons of gas...oh I remember when...

As I got back into my car with all 12 gallons and no cash, I considered my options:
1. I could walk to my destinations (this would mean getting up at midnight to start my day)
2. I could try to carpool with people (almost plausible)
3. Public Transportation (hold on-we're in Fort Wayne, so that means you see a cab about once a year. As for buses, I don't think they make a route to the boondocks of DeKalb County)

This experience confirms, yet again, that New York City is the most wonderful place in the world. Are the residents of Manhattan complaining about gas prices? OF COURSE NOT! Not to mention, every day you get a chance to ride in the CashCab! I HEART NYC

Lonely=Good Thing (Not the Martha Stewart Way)

I'm surprised that I've lasted four months actually writing my own words in this journal. I humbly realize that there are others who write immeasurably better than I, so today I begin quoting other people!
Josh gave me Blue Like Jazz years ago, long before it was a cultural phenomenon. Granted, I didn't read it for awhile, so I do fall into the pop culture crowd. I'm now reading another Don Miller book, Searching for God knows what. Yesterday I read (twice!) a chapter about Eden. Here's what Don says:

I noticed Adam and Eve didn't meet right away. Moses said God knew Adam was lonely or incomplete or however you want to say it, but God did not create Eve directly after He stated Adam was lonely. This struck me as funny because a lot of times when I think about life before the Fall, I don't think about people going around lonely. But that thought also comforted me because I realized loneliness in my own life doesn't mean I am a complete screwup, rather that God made me this way. You always picture a perfect human being somebody who doesn't need anybody, like a guy on a horse out in Colorado or whatever. But here is Adam, the only perfect guy in the world, and he is going around wanting to be with somebody else, needing another person to fulfill a certain emptiness in his life. And as I said, When God saw this, He did not create Eve right away. He did not give Adam what he needed immediately. He waited. He told Adam to name the animals.

...I looked up how many animals there are in the world, and it turns out there are between ten million and one hundred million different species. So even if you believe in evolution, that means there were between one million and fifty million species around in the time of the Garden, and Adam, apparently had to name all of them. And the entire time he was lonely.

All this to say that had God given Eve to Adam immediately, would Adam be as grateful for her as he was after waiting so long for a companion? I was watching "One Fine Day" last night. I rarely want to watch this movie because I get so completely frustrated that this one day the two characters are experiencing could be so terrifyingly horrible; it seriously does just get worse and worse. At the end of course, they end up together and would probably say it was worth it to endure that manic day because of the result. How many things in life do I complain incessantly about, not realizing it will all be completely worth it in the end?! I feel foolish about it now, and I'm confident I'll feel foolish about this in months and years to come. My hope is that the time between foolish feelings will start to lengthen. My attitude is up to me to decide, right? Right.

My Brother, the Prophet...

It's obvious I think the world of my brother, Josh. Honestly, most people do. If I had anything to do with this phenomenon, I would be sounding pretty conceited now. Fortunately, I am unable to take even the smallest amound of credit for his incomparable-ness (not a real word, I know) I could make a list of his traits(in alphabetical order of course, since I am so detail-minded), but instead I want to focus on the thing I've learned about him most recently:
GOD IS TALKING TO ME IN AN AUDIBLE VOICE THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLY FAMILIAR... JOSH'S.

I was reading his blog today from Scotland. It's better to read it for yourself, but the gist is that God was gracious yesterday, is being gracious today, and will most likely give me grace tomorrow. He is the I AM. He is present; present in Fort Wayne, Scotland, and Wilmington. I'm facing multiple changes in life these days, decisions that will alter the next season of my life. I spend so much time now wondering and worrying especially. There is no need; my brilliant brother pointed this out to me from across an ocean. Man I'm glad he went to Europe!

I Have Always Love You

This morning during my "daily commute" (I pretend to live in a bustling metropolis, but you all know what the Fort is like) I was listening to a CD that is a surefire way to get me energized for the day. On track 16 of CD Two the guy sings these words, "I have always love you. " The lyrics were not I have always loved you, but love you. I'll confess I hadn't noticed this before, but read about it in a critique posted on the web. Now I listen for it every time I play the song. I checked my piano music just now, and the word is written as loved. There are two possibilities:
1. The composer wrote loved, but the performer sang love
2. The composer wrote love, but the publisher accidentally printed loved
Typically I am not a fan of grammatical errors, but in this case I find it incredibly fitting.

Next week will be the 10 year anniversary(?) of the day my mother died. I was 15 years old; I am now 25. More than a few changes have occurred in the last 10 years. I could write the story now because it's still so fresh in my mind, but my brother has done it eloquently in two essays entitled "The Beauty of Suffering."

What am I getting at? Here it is: so many people tell me how much they loved my mother. Loved... in the past tense. I AM NOT DONE LOVING HER! (capitalization was not used to criticize those past tense lovers, but to show how much I present tense love her) I have always love her!
True, I haven't seen or spoken to her in 10 years. That doesn't change the fact that I present tense love her. My dad talks about this sometimes. He loves her in the present too, as does Josh. We don't loved her, we love her. This may not seem profound to anyone; that's not my intent. I'm just thankful for the extremely poignant lyric or possible grammatical error that has played on my car stereo innumerable times.

The Final Four...

You may remember back to the month of April during your senior year of high school. By this point everyone you knew well, were acquainted with, or just saw on the street for the first time was asking you these questions: 1. Are you excited about graduation?2. Where are you going to college?3. What will your major be?

Hearing these ten times was somewhat exhausting, and by the 30th I was ready to pull my hair out. My roommate in college had the idea to possibly tattoo those three answers to her forehead, except that she really didn't have answers to the latter questions for awhile. I hadn't wanted to return to life where 50% of my conversations centered around these questions, but it in fact has happened. Now they are slightly altered:

1. Are you excited about moving?2. Where are you moving?3. What will your job be?

I know that people have the best intentions, so it's not frustrating to cover this topic 9 times a day (on average of course!). It is however, quite exhausting; especially when I didn't have any kind of answers. Today things are on the move! Here is the most recent information:

** It's down to four cities in four different states- Wilmington, NC...Charleston, SC...Savannah, GA...Jacksonville, FL (all cities on the coast! Of course you'll all want to visit us!)

** We're now trying to do some church searching. I've found two in Wilmington that look GREAT! I'm going to keep researching in the other three cities

**Once we've picked a city, we're planning to make a trip down in the beginning of June to find an apartment.

**Our BIG MOVE will hopfully be in the last two weeks of July

**Jobs: Andria is looking to intern for Young Life. I recently declined a job in Indiana, which was difficult because I don't have anything else lined up. BUT there was an immense peace that flooded me when I made the decision. It was an administrative assistant position; I was encouraged to be offered the job without a degree or experience in business. I'll be pursuing the same kind of jobs in the city we choose.

**We are inviting any friends who feel like moving south to join in our adventure! Pray it over; it's gonna be a crazy ride! Also, if you are needing a new place to live in Fort Wayne, Parker is renting her five bedroom house. It's in a great area of the Fort, so maybe that's a possibility for you!

The moment I think I'm being so adventurous and becoming a daredevil, I realize that at this moment my brother is in Europe by himself hiking, hitch-hiking, hopefully eating, and ALL BY HIMSELF! I'll be so relieved when June 16 is here and Josh comes home! Keep him safe, please LORD!